[alert type=”secondary” close=”false”]Note #1: This letter is from Kristy P., the [lovely, wonderful, beautiful, sweet, and swell] wife of one of the Man School 2013 coordinators.
- Note #2: If you are a married man committed to going through Man School 2013, please forward this to your wife (or print it out and hand it to her… with a kiss on the forehead).[/alert]
Congratulations! You are getting ready to embark on a new journey with your husband as he goes through Man School. The title in itself is a bit exciting! Learning how to be a better man can never be a bad thing, right?! It always makes me a bit giddy when my husband pursues personal & spiritual growth—when he decides to take steps to be a better servant leader for our family and grow in his relationship with God. Whether you ever so graciously pushed your husband into signing up for Man School or he excitedly did so without any prodding from you, I’m sure you are excited for the process to begin.
I have a few things I’d like to encourage you in as you walk beside your husband on his journey…
The first, and most important, thing is to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! Satan doesn’t want your husband to be a better husband, father, employee, etc. There are going to be many weeks when the enemy will attack your husband on Wednesdays and throughout the week, so much so that he won’t feel like going to Man School, and he will be tempted to stay home. Satan will also want him to be tired or distracted every time he goes to do his homework throughout the week.
Your job is to pray against the enemy. Go to war, spiritually, for your man! Pray that he has the strength to continue on in the classes and to put in the effort required. Pray that God will speak to him and touch his heart in ways only the Holy Spirit can.
I also want to warn you against the all too common habit of women: nagging. Your husband is going to be processing A LOT during the next few weeks. He is going to struggle with how to apply all that he is learning in practical ways. If he makes next steps and shares with you areas of his life that he wants to change, don’t start nagging him if weeks later he still hasn’t made those changes.
If you notice that your husband is not doing his homework for Man School, I want to strongly encourage you to NOT SAY ANYTHING! You aren’t his teacher or mom, and this isn’t high school all over again. Your job is to be encouraging and loving. Don’t worry… the Man School team and leaders are confrontational as needed, and they are not afraid to tell your husband to shape up. Leave it to the men in charge of Man School to lay the pressure on your man. He’ll receive it better from them anyway, and it lets you off the hook of being the “bad guy.”
Instead of nagging, work really hard on being an excellent encourager, supporter, and cheerleader. Some (actually most) men need time to process. Your husband most likely won’t come home from a night of tough, punch-in-your-gut, conversations at church and feel like unloading all of his thoughts on you right away. He’ll need time to let all the new information sink in. Be patient! Once he feels ready to share with you what he is learning, be a good listener. Encourage him and tell him how much you respect him and look up to him for desiring to be a better man. Remember, only POSITIVE feedback! He’ll be getting enough hard truth and kick-in-the-pants conversations at Man School.
Lastly, WORK ON YOURSELF! Instead of thinking about how happy you are that your husband will have all these new things to work on to improve your marriage and family, focus on how YOU can grow as a wife. Ask God to show you where you have sin in your life and how to better serve your husband. Even if you don’t see any changes taking place in your husband, that is not an excuse to resist change for yourself.
Once again, I am excited for you to go on this journey with your husband. Man School is intense, and there is so much wonderful information that your husband will be learning. Be encouraged! And remember, God has given you to your husband to be his helper. So PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, avoid nagging, be a patient encourager, and work on bettering yourself as a wife and child of God.
(Wife of one of the Man School coordinators)